A Deep Sleep

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Suddenly awake, breath caught in her chest, aware of its presence in her bed. Fueled by adrenaline, she grasped at the cold, clammy invader seeking to expel it. It was incapable of admitting defeat, seemingly attached to her body.

Slowly, prickles pierced her hand, with the return of blood flow.

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10 thoughts on “A Deep Sleep

  1. This was highly relatable. I’m sure we’ve all slept on our own hands till they’ve lost feeling and seemed like foreign objects (I certainly have). That first sentence would have been more effective at establishing the mood, and breaking up the pace for interest, if it were split into three staccato sentences; “Suddenly awake. Breath caught in her chest. Aware of its presence in her bed.”

    Liked by 1 person

  2. Oh I hate that feeling when your hand is complete numb and you can’t feel it anymore. I enjoyed how you portrayed it like a scene from a horror movie to something we probably have all experienced at some point.

    Liked by 1 person

  3. This felt like an actual story – beginning, middle, and end. I wouldn’t have thought of it, but the earlier comment about breaking up the first sentence is genius. But overall, I think you nailed it.

    Like

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