So, Mother’s Day is drawing near, and it is a time to celebrate mothers everywhere.
Yet, I’d much rather prefer right now to take a moment and talk about something that brings me far too much joy
“Your Mom” jokes.
I love them. Can’t get enough of them really- just thinking about them sets me chuckling internally, which threatens to bubble over into some loud, inappropriate guffaws. I don’t care if they are immature- ridiculous even. They are hilarious! So I wanted to share a few of my favorites to illustrate why I like them so…
Of course there is always the well timed- typical mom joke that gets a laugh.
“What’d you do last night?”
This is not my favorite though…
I have a brother in law- my husband’s only brother. He is a master of the mom joke – at least in my opinion. What’s particularly funny about his usage of the mom joke is that when he says it to my husband- it’s about his own mom as well! In my mind, this is killer.
I assume it goes without saying that I have a dysfunctional sense of humor.
Still not my favorite…
I like to use the mom joke when it makes NO SENSE to do so… causing those in conversation with me to wonder, “What is wrong with this woman?” as I burst into a cackling laughter that just might become contagious. (I was voted best laugh in high school.) I probably should preface that this usage is probably at the most inappropriate time… and, yes, there IS an appropriate time for a mom joke
All my students know that I love corny jokes. I am the queen of corn I like to tell them- and I don’t mean the kind you grow or take out of a can. I use jokes to reveal passwords to my weekly vocabulary quizzes- or for any testing, so when I get started on the jokes- they do too.
It was a few years ago and we were heading online for the Friday Vocabulary quiz, when the kids were trying to get the best of me. What was this week’s joke going to be? Have I heard this one? Do I already know the punch lines? Let’s stall this soul crushing experience because I didn’t study one lick…
One young lady, raises her hand and says she has a great joke for me… Oh boy! Here we go!
“What is brown and sticky?” she says, a self-satisfied smile spreading across her face. She’s sure she has me stumped with no idea what awaits her.
So without a moment’s hesitation – I said it.
And then I and the entire class, and even the girl with the joke- died from laughing.
Is that appropriate? Absolutely not. Does it really make any sense? No- not really. The correct answer to the joke, in case you’re wondering, is “a stick”. Kind of anticlimactic…
So here I am, a mother raising two toddler girls- with an insatiable love for mom jokes. And it puts me in a sticky situation… do not pardon the pun.
Every night with the pre-bedtime snack, I give my daughters their daily vitamins. Read somewhere that taking them at the end of the day is somehow more beneficial- so I roll with it. My oldest daughter takes the chewable Flintstones vitamins, and each evening I am faced with the same scenario.
As I place the purple, orange or red nutritional source in front of my eagerly awaiting daughter, she looks up at me with a pure thirst for knowledge and asks, “Mom, who is this?”
And every night it echoes in my head…. “Your mom!”
No- it shouldn’t be, but to me, it’s hysterical.
Don’t worry. I don’t say it. I keep the little joke tucked safely inside my demented motherly mind, but I do smile as I answer, “Oh sweetie… that’s just Dino.”